Thursday, April 2, 2009

fUGGedaboudit!

It’s Spring time, everyone. And it’s about damn time, I say.


Now…because there are so many blogs out there that have taken on the tasks and responsibilities of commenting on criticizing on other people (mainly folks they don’t know)…I try and stay in my lane and only blog about all situations regarding myself (a man, dammit) and women.
With that being said, I’ve really, really held off on getting on this topic because I realized (circa Myspace) that I tend to really go in on some things that really get my goat (still don’t know what that means, but it fits) like flip-flops. For those that didn’t know me years ago, the reaction and subsequent tirade was sparked by a female wearing flip-flops in the club. And no, it wasn’t the end of night so the suggestion that her feet must have really been hurting something terrible does not apply. It wasn’t even midnight. On top of that, she had the audacity to match them to her outfit. I looked down at her feet and then I looked at her and I...

*Breathe Darryl. You’re going back to a place that you don’t want to return to. You promised, man! Now focus...*

Okay, okay, okay. So…this time I’m going at it with a different approach. I want to start off by thanking the female masses for losing their individuality and following the lemmings. From the bottom and top of my heart, thanks a million. Thanks for not questioning the internal fashion sense that I assumed you possessed and jumping on the bandwagon. With all sincerity, thank you very much for that. While you and your BFFs are hanging out just knowing you’re too cute, I don’t even see you.


Instead, I see the woman (yes, singular) that’s doing her own thing.


And there’s not many who catch my eye.
We both wear Gucci, she match my fly
She Got Her Own by Ne-Yo

And now it's oh so much easier for me to spot her. Before, thin-slicing* was difficult. Now, not even. Now, I can find my compliment.



So keep justifying the ugliness by telling me how the inside feels. And I’ll keep not hearing what you’re really telling me. Instead, when you finally decide you want to actually look like an effort was made and wear the sharpest shoes (if that will ever happen again) and wince in pain an hour in to wearing them [picture me shaking my head at the sight of you trying to hide the discomfort]…I’ll wait for your justification this time and let you realize that you’re the picture in dictionary next to

con·tra·dic·tion
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1: act or an instance of contradicting 2 a: a proposition, statement, or phrase that asserts or implies both the truth and falsity of something b: a statement or phrase whose parts contradict each other 3 a: logical incongruity b: a situation in which inherent factors, actions, or propositions are inconsistent or contrary to one another

Because if your first validation was truth, your logic will have you rocking the sasquatches all-of-dee-time.





My question is: What happened to you? Back in the day, you used to know how to _______ but now, all you do is __________________.



Fill in the blanks.

*Thin-slicing refers to the ability of our unconscious to find patterns in situations and behaviour based on very narrow slices of experience. blink - The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, page 23.

16 comments:

Ms_Slim said...

I agree. Uggs have NEVER been cute to me. Ever ever ever! (that's why they're called 'uggs'...right?)

Anyway, yea...you're gonna hate me. I was that girl in the club with flip flops on (just once). And they matched...because ya know....to not match them would just be wrong on more levels than wearing them in the first.

It wasnt intentional though. See what had happened was.......I had my heels in the car. Some brand new 4-inchers. They were BAD! I put them on once I got to the club and on the way to the entrance (about a city block away), my feet were yelling at me. It wasnt right, I tell ya. So I bolted back to the car and threw on the flip flops.

The flip flops were bad too so I feel like I should be given a pass. The brand new heels were not broken in at all. Womp for me.

Sorry. Had to justify myself.

But Uggs get an auto-L every time. Blech!!!

Mr Keys said...

Hold up. Press pause. Rewind that.

The flip flops were bad too...

Bad like MJ. No. Bad example. LOL. Bad like the heels were bad or bad like crack is bad for you?

Pushing that need for clarification aside...did the *cringe* flip flops match intentionally or was it coincidental??

Ms_Slim said...

LOL! Bad like Michael pre-pedophile.

It was coincidental since I hadnt really planned to wear them. I'm glad they did though otherwise I'd have been in that club sitting down the WHOLE night. smh

Mr Keys said...

*shaking my head in complete disapproval*

LOL. Nah, Ms Slim...what do "Bad like Michael pre-pedophile" flip-flops look like? Do tell...

Tonda said...

I just jumped on the UGG badnwagon, (at least the Target knock-off ones) and I enjoyed them. It took a while for me to start to like them, I must admit when I first saw celebrities wearing them in the summer with their shorts I thought they were ugly but somehow they grew on me, only took 4 years for that to happen.

Flip flops were banned from my attire until 2 years ago when I allowed myself to wear them out the house, but in the club? Ermm no!

Mr Keys said...

So now, Tonda...we're (well not me, but just you) at a critical junction. Do you put them up in the closet when the warm weather stays or do you still wear them and get moist toes? lol

Tonda said...

Sweaty feet were an issues, my solution? Took my socks off, you really don't need socks with those boots. So yes, I wore them during the winter in the snow below freezing temps, without socks.

But I would not wear them in the summer months so they would be in the closet or under neath the bed until needed.

Kryssy said...

I am not an Ugg fan. Never thought they were cute... Never will. Lol. And I have ended a friendship for one of my chicks taking her shoes off in the club... So wearing flip flops? Can we say Heck no? Lol

asia kismet said...

i agree with most of the panel. I've had a hatred for uggs since their conception. they aren't flattering they look like roadkill on your feet...i'll pass. anyways with that said you know my stance on flipflops ...i'm a cali beach [and asian] girl i fucks with the flipflops...but not to the club...that's just lazy.

GangStarr Girl said...

Uggs really aren't cute. I think (I hope) most women wear them because they're comfy, warm and for some reason, trendy. So even if you wear those ugly ass boots, you still look like you have style. It's weird. Very, very weird. And no, I don't have a pair lol.

Mr Keys said...

Kryssy...YOU are something of a gangster with the ending of a friendship. lol. I'm hoping that was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

asia kismet...I'm laughing at you throwing "asian" in there. It's cool, I gave you a pass since the flip-flop blogs. lol.

GangStarr Girl...I think you just inspired me to conduct a little survey to discern the difference between fashion style and fashion SENSE.

Hey Girlfriend! said...

LOL - I hate you!!!!!! LMFAO...just kidding, much love--But don't fret, Hey Girlfriends reply is on dee way!!!

chick on a stick said...

I LOVE my UGGs...they are staple in my closet from Sept-April I am wearing them almost daily...why?
because they are ULTRA comfortable and warm and I live in Chicago...the Western Hemishpere's Antartica....I need my warm and I also take public transportation here I need to get around as comfortably as possible...with that in mind do i think they are cute? nope...but i do wear them without fail (almost)everywhere during the winter....
but flip flops in the club? NEVER unless it is the END of the evening and your heels were Getting it in and the time expired on them without your permission...then and ONLY then are you allowed to take your flip flops out of your bag discreetly switch shoes and allow yourself to relieve your feet the pain inflicted by the aforementioned BAD shoes.....

Mr Keys said...

chick on a stick...

as I read you valid justification for wearing fUGGs from Sept-April (I hope you realize that your addiction has you wearing them for more than half the year), I'm thinking to myself as much as everyone claims their ugly boots are a neccesity - WHAT were you all wearing before fUGGs? And were they just as ugly? lol

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