Thursday, April 2, 2009


It’s Spring time, everyone. And it’s about damn time, I say.

Now…because there are so many blogs out there that have taken on the tasks and responsibilities of commenting on criticizing on other people (mainly folks they don’t know)…I try and stay in my lane and only blog about all situations regarding myself (a man, dammit) and women.
With that being said, I’ve really, really held off on getting on this topic because I realized (circa Myspace) that I tend to really go in on some things that really get my goat (still don’t know what that means, but it fits) like flip-flops. For those that didn’t know me years ago, the reaction and subsequent tirade was sparked by a female wearing flip-flops in the club. And no, it wasn’t the end of night so the suggestion that her feet must have really been hurting something terrible does not apply. It wasn’t even midnight. On top of that, she had the audacity to match them to her outfit. I looked down at her feet and then I looked at her and I...

*Breathe Darryl. You’re going back to a place that you don’t want to return to. You promised, man! Now focus...*

Okay, okay, okay. So…this time I’m going at it with a different approach. I want to start off by thanking the female masses for losing their individuality and following the lemmings. From the bottom and top of my heart, thanks a million. Thanks for not questioning the internal fashion sense that I assumed you possessed and jumping on the bandwagon. With all sincerity, thank you very much for that. While you and your BFFs are hanging out just knowing you’re too cute, I don’t even see you.

Instead, I see the woman (yes, singular) that’s doing her own thing.

And there’s not many who catch my eye.
We both wear Gucci, she match my fly
She Got Her Own by Ne-Yo

And now it's oh so much easier for me to spot her. Before, thin-slicing* was difficult. Now, not even. Now, I can find my compliment.

So keep justifying the ugliness by telling me how the inside feels. And I’ll keep not hearing what you’re really telling me. Instead, when you finally decide you want to actually look like an effort was made and wear the sharpest shoes (if that will ever happen again) and wince in pain an hour in to wearing them [picture me shaking my head at the sight of you trying to hide the discomfort]…I’ll wait for your justification this time and let you realize that you’re the picture in dictionary next to

Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1: act or an instance of contradicting 2 a: a proposition, statement, or phrase that asserts or implies both the truth and falsity of something b: a statement or phrase whose parts contradict each other 3 a: logical incongruity b: a situation in which inherent factors, actions, or propositions are inconsistent or contrary to one another

Because if your first validation was truth, your logic will have you rocking the sasquatches all-of-dee-time.

My question is: What happened to you? Back in the day, you used to know how to _______ but now, all you do is __________________.

Fill in the blanks.

*Thin-slicing refers to the ability of our unconscious to find patterns in situations and behaviour based on very narrow slices of experience. blink - The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, page 23.