Monday, November 24, 2008

the 6th sense

Okay. The feedback that I’ve received from my last blog is that I should have went for mines, gone in, got me some, went in…or whatever apt, colorful phrase you could think of. On the one hand, I am a gentleman with gentlemanly ways. But on the other hand, I’m a man, dammit. So don’t, for one minute, think that I didn’t want to go for mines, go in and get me some. The very basis of animal attraction dictates that I should have that desire (And I did mainly because I’m a man, dammit.). But what separates man from beast is our brain and ability to think. That, and the fact that we have rooms and receptacles equipped with plumbing designated for relieving our bowels.

“When a man gets a hard on, you know where the blood comes from, right? His head and his feet. So A, he’s stupid and B, he can’t run.”


- ‘Savon Garrison’, Love Jones

Over the years, through trial and error, I’ve kinda worked on honing my senses. Hindsight is 20/20 and to be honest, I don’t have the time for it all. I figure I’ve done and been through enough to fill a small pocket handbook of the do’s and don’ts of life. Now, what I choose to do with the pertinent information contained in those pages is solely up to me.

For example, Chapter Three: Be Cool tells me to weather through the storm (a.k.a. the whirlwind of emotions) of the initial connection. There is SO much involved in the beginning. You have to let it die down before you can see.

“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way”

- Johnny Nash

At the same time, we (and when I say we, I refer to all men) are all human and more than likely, have gotten caught up. For me to say that I haven’t or even attempt to give you the impression that I never have would be a disservice to you all and the point of my writing. Hell, I could get caught up tomorrow. Anything is possible.

I didn’t always write about things that I’ve been through. But I did do a decent job of remembering with adequate detail, my accomplishments and my mistakes.

If any of what I’m about to tell you all can apply to women then, by all means, tell me…because I’m curious. I’ll always want to learn from women.

Lately, I’ve been making a conscious effort to discern the difference between all the different levels of excitement…for a lack of a better word. For me…now…there’s a difference between the rush I get from driving in excess of 100 miles per hr and the rush I get from an attractive woman in my presence revealing her “self” for the first time to me in the most intimate of moments. Five, six, seven plus years ago? No difference. It was just heart pounding and deep breathing across the board. I recognize the similarity between waiting for her to pick up the phone when I make that first, crucially important phone call and waiting to see her reaction when I surprise her with something. Then there’s the difference between lust and intense infatuation and deep desire. I wish I could actually describe these things but I can’t. For one, I’m not that good and two, everyone is different.

Now back to my situation…

I knew exactly what I was feeling. It took about a minute but I successfully settled into Chapter Three and got my wits about me. The first time I visited, I stayed the night. The second time, I stayed the night and awoke to her laying next to me in her t-shirt and panties. I tend to play things down and told myself that it was natural for someone to get too hot in the middle of the night and uncover themselves. That’s what I told myself when I went to bathroom. I didn’t have an explanation for when I came out and found her ironing in the same (very short) t-shirt and panties. I mean, I stared for a few seconds and still, nothing came to me. Not an explanation, anyway.

Moving on…

In a perfect world, I can wake up seemingly “ready” for a sexual episode, come on to a woman, give her something incredible to reminisce about during the week that lies ahead and not have a reason to think about the repercussions of feelings, wrong impressions and attachment. But, I’m not Hank Moody. No, in my world, I can wake up seemingly “ready” for a sexual episode, come on to a woman and be stopped dead in my tracks with explicit instructions to point my thing elsewhere or I can bring us to the point of speechlessness, shortness of breath and ultimate exertion only to be told afterwards that she doesn’t “just sleep around” so naturally, she thought [you fill in the rest].

With that said, I feel like I have to think beyond it all. And since I don’t see it coming, I miss the opportunity to devote thought to it in advance. Instead, I’m in the starters block, poised and ready to go…but essentially blindfolded until the gun goes off. It’s either a straight 100 meter dash or it’s the 110 meter hurdles…and we’ve all seen that hurdles can be a btch to clear.

It’s become increasingly difficult to argue the point made by my boys (and some women, mind you) that I’m grown and any woman that I’m dealing with is grown as well…so they know full well what’s going on when it’s going on. That’s absolutely true. As long as there isn’t any leading on then I’m good to go. Right?

9 comments:

asia kismet said...

my comment. First of all we are all adults, age-wise. but let's be real...when it comes to relationships that involve sex, men and women become like 2 year old children...they want it how they want it, when they want it...and sometimes they even create delusions around that shit.

someone eventually will catch feelings given enough time. that's why most of those arrangements don't last...[my example nola darling's life]

Hey Girlfriend! said...

I don't know...and maybe I’m just being crazy here, but why don’t you just ask her what her expectations are before you have sex with her? I mean, yeah we are all grown, but most of us are not mind-readers. Now, your hindsight at least taught you two things. The first is that making assumptions about a relationship is a definite no-no. The second is that most women cannot be in an ongoing sexual relationship with a guy without catching feelings. The second is extremely important because some girls believe that they can, and this can make a guy that’s not ready for a committed relationship feel like he has hit the jackpot! So when she comes out of nowhere like “who the f**k is this b**ch”, everyone has the WTF look on their faces.

So understanding this, is it crazy to just ask her what she wants, listening to her answer, asking yourself what you want (I mean I know what you want right then and there, but I mean beyond that—what do you want) and then taking it from there?

Mr Keys said...

So let me get this right, Girlfriend. She comes to my place without the bottom piece to her Vicky's set and I should ask her? Excuse me but I fail to see the logic in that. There was never any pursuit by me.

Hey Girlfriend! said...

LOL at "Girlfriend." Look, Mr. Keys, it’s clear what she wants, I mean the missing Vickies made that pretty obvious. You, on the other hand, are not too sure. So are you going to whine and cry about who will ask the questions, or are you going to grow-up, man-up, and just ask her what's going on?

You don't have to answer that now, you can wait until "the 6th sense part III."

Mr Keys said...

See...this is how it's looking to me. I didn't actively (nor inactively) pursue her. She wants something other than a 'not suitable for young viewers' scene then maybe she should woman-up and let it be to know to the other party involved (me). It's always the same story but with different characters. Maybe it's time women re-write the ending.

suga said...

Hmmm, this "we all are grown" and "women have delusions" doesnt sit too well with me at all.

This is why I agree with Hey Girlfriend. People need to talk about situations. To say, "She knew what was up" is just kinda ailly to me. Yeah, she probably wanted some bootay, but who knows if that is all she wanted?

I'm glad you hesitated those first few times. I think thats admirable and extremely rare for a man to have a womans bare booty tooted up near his groin and not immediately jump on it. That can save a man alot of drama. You get two gold stars for thinking with your head...the one sitting on your shoulders lol

Unknown said...

the only reason why I said that she should be the one to say something is because she was plotting leaving her vicky's in her bag or her shoe or her glove compartment or wherever she hid 'em. she had a plan to get her some of this man however she can. lol.

the YOUNG LIONESS said...

oh the intricacies of sex and dating. ..

i really wonder if there will ever be just such a thing as someone seeing through you to your sincerity and being secure in everything from the discourse to intercourse shared between the two of you...

this being nearly impossible, i guess all this just remains a vicious cycle

Mr Keys said...

"being secure in everything from the discourse to intercourse shared between the two of you..."

Lioness, that was a very profound statement. I suppose sometimes, there are exceptions to the rule, where something isn't the norm. But since you nor I are proclaiming such events, it remains a myth...