Flying Saucers

I'm going to start off on a tangent but then get on track. I promise. All I ask is that you bear with me. 

I'm a man. 

I love and have played a multitude of sports. Whether organized or unorganized, I was there. One of those sports is football. I love my home team. Always have and most assuredly, always will. I've never hitched a ride on any bandwagon. If my team struggles, then I struggle. That's how it is and that's how it will always be. Everyone has their reasons to become a "fan" of whatever team they want. Some do it out of frustration. Some do it for popularity. Some do it for acceptance. Who am I to judge? 

What I will do, however, is voice my opinion  about your team. That's what men do. And I am a man. Anyone and everyone (that's a fan of Sports) has the right to opine about the teams I love. Is it sometimes hard to take? Of course. I'm not devoid of emotions. While I am a man, I am still human. With that being said, because I am a man, that means I am also an adult. And as an adult, I prefer to surround myself with individuals who share the same attribute...being an adult - whether on social media or in person. I like to leave the childish behavior for actual children - call me crazy. 

With that being said, I've been disappointed  several times this year and it's only February. All day long, I have folks all on my time line posting pics and comments about anyone and everything. From celebrities to sports teams and everything in between. On several occasions, the commentary  was directed at my own teams. What did I do? I unfollowed them.  

NOT. 

Come on. I'm an adult. Remember?

I did no such thing. What I did do was toss a playful barb back at them or sometimes even laughed it off. I'm grown and that's what grown people do. Or at least, that's what I thought until I found myself blocked, deleted, unfriended and unfollowed on more than one occasion. The most recent severing was yesterday. The "reason" for it is both laughable and sad at the same time. Am I hurt? Hell and no. I'm a man. What I am is disappointed that these people didn't let me know sooner that they were ultrasensitive. I could've saved all the conversations and exchanges and playful banter for a like-minded adult. Instead, I wasted time [read: YEARS]. Thanks. 

Now look. I get it. No one wants to have their character assassinated. But that's not what happened in any of these situations. People's (men and women) panties got bunched up over things that don't directly affect them. And in every case, I've sat and watched them dance all over the Internet making fun of and criticizing whomever and whatever they pleased. So to have the gall to act as if they're above it is both preposterous and laughable. I will not walk on eggshells around people like that. If you can't take it, don't dish it. Don't even serve it on an appetizer plate. You know, those little round plates that are the size of saucers? Whatever happened to saucers anyway? 

"Now take these words home and think it through or the next [blog] I write might be about you"

- Mobb Deep, 'Shook Ones Pt II'

the 6th sense

Okay. The feedback that I’ve received from my last blog is that I should have went for mines, gone in, got me some, went in…or whatever apt, colorful phrase you could think of. On the one hand, I am a gentleman with gentlemanly ways. But on the other hand, I’m a man, dammit. So don’t, for one minute, think that I didn’t want to go for mines, go in and get me some. The very basis of animal attraction dictates that I should have that desire (And I did mainly because I’m a man, dammit.). But what separates man from beast is our brain and ability to think. That, and the fact that we have rooms and receptacles equipped with plumbing designated for relieving our bowels.

“When a man gets a hard on, you know where the blood comes from, right? His head and his feet. So A, he’s stupid and B, he can’t run.”

- ‘Savon Garrison’, Love Jones

Over the years, through trial and error, I’ve kinda worked on honing my senses. Hindsight is 20/20 and to be honest, I don’t have the time for it all. I figure I’ve done and been through enough to fill a small pocket handbook of the do’s and don’ts of life. Now, what I choose to do with the pertinent information contained in those pages is solely up to me.

For example, Chapter Three: Be Cool tells me to weather through the storm (a.k.a. the whirlwind of emotions) of the initial connection. There is SO much involved in the beginning. You have to let it die down before you can see.

“I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way”

- Johnny Nash

At the same time, we (and when I say we, I refer to all men) are all human and more than likely, have gotten caught up. For me to say that I haven’t or even attempt to give you the impression that I never have would be a disservice to you all and the point of my writing. Hell, I could get caught up tomorrow. Anything is possible.

I didn’t always write about things that I’ve been through. But I did do a decent job of remembering with adequate detail, my accomplishments and my mistakes.

If any of what I’m about to tell you all can apply to women then, by all means, tell me…because I’m curious. I’ll always want to learn from women.

Lately, I’ve been making a conscious effort to discern the difference between all the different levels of excitement…for a lack of a better word. For me…now…there’s a difference between the rush I get from driving in excess of 100 miles per hr and the rush I get from an attractive woman in my presence revealing her “self” for the first time to me in the most intimate of moments. Five, six, seven plus years ago? No difference. It was just heart pounding and deep breathing across the board. I recognize the similarity between waiting for her to pick up the phone when I make that first, crucially important phone call and waiting to see her reaction when I surprise her with something. Then there’s the difference between lust and intense infatuation and deep desire. I wish I could actually describe these things but I can’t. For one, I’m not that good and two, everyone is different.

Now back to my situation…

I knew exactly what I was feeling. It took about a minute but I successfully settled into Chapter Three and got my wits about me. The first time I visited, I stayed the night. The second time, I stayed the night and awoke to her laying next to me in her t-shirt and panties. I tend to play things down and told myself that it was natural for someone to get too hot in the middle of the night and uncover themselves. That’s what I told myself when I went to bathroom. I didn’t have an explanation for when I came out and found her ironing in the same (very short) t-shirt and panties. I mean, I stared for a few seconds and still, nothing came to me. Not an explanation, anyway.

Moving on…

In a perfect world, I can wake up seemingly “ready” for a sexual episode, come on to a woman, give her something incredible to reminisce about during the week that lies ahead and not have a reason to think about the repercussions of feelings, wrong impressions and attachment. But, I’m not Hank Moody. No, in my world, I can wake up seemingly “ready” for a sexual episode, come on to a woman and be stopped dead in my tracks with explicit instructions to point my thing elsewhere or I can bring us to the point of speechlessness, shortness of breath and ultimate exertion only to be told afterwards that she doesn’t “just sleep around” so naturally, she thought [you fill in the rest].

With that said, I feel like I have to think beyond it all. And since I don’t see it coming, I miss the opportunity to devote thought to it in advance. Instead, I’m in the starters block, poised and ready to go…but essentially blindfolded until the gun goes off. It’s either a straight 100 meter dash or it’s the 110 meter hurdles…and we’ve all seen that hurdles can be a btch to clear.

It’s become increasingly difficult to argue the point made by my boys (and some women, mind you) that I’m grown and any woman that I’m dealing with is grown as well…so they know full well what’s going on when it’s going on. That’s absolutely true. As long as there isn’t any leading on then I’m good to go. Right?